I told my therapist the other day that I felt like I did when I was first pregnant. See, when I was first pregnant, I felt pretty normal for the first month or so. No nausea, no weight gain (actually lost probably), nada. I felt like I should have a neon sign on my forehead or something but everything appeared to be status quo.
Everything had changed but in many ways, nothing had changed.
I sort of feel the same with the band. In so many ways, everything has changed.....
* I already feel better physically - not awesome but better.
* I feel so much better emotionally - I know I'm going to stay on the wagon.
* While I still haven't seen the 22 lbs down number that was there (I swear) before I transitioned to soft food, I have stayed consistently down 17 pounds. Old Susan would have fallen off the wagon by now, gotten back on a bit and would now be heading towards regaining those 17 pounds plus.
* I'm not perfect, but I'm making pretty good choices. Eggs are my friends. I have eaten Tuna multiple times for God's sake and that is truly a miracle.
And, when you start to feel better, you know when you're feeling crummy that there is probably something going on. I was extra hungry this week (or rather just wanted to snack) and I looked at the calendar and realized that I should start my period - and I did. So, I blame the starbursts and oatmeal cookies on that but again, could have been a whole lot worse!
* I only have 5 days until my first fill! Trying not to jump the gun and think ahead to my next fill after that :). I'm a little freaked about it possibly taking a while to feel restriction so I'm hopeful that I'll get there pretty soon. The nurse said my doctor is pretty aggressive about fills. How soon after your "first" did you get your "second" and "third" ...?
So, everything really has changed and more and more, the "nothing" is turning into "somethings". The biggest thing - hope has returned and that is worthy of the happy dance right there.
Chapter 38: This one is for me
2 weeks ago