Halfway there!

Halfway. Halfway there. Where is there? Done? No longer with a weight problem? Cured? I don't know. I'm not sure if I'll know even when I get there. But I'm halfway (actually a bit over halfway) to wherever "it" ends up being. At least the "it" for now. I do reserve the right to adjust the goal - you never know :).

55.2 pounds. Obviously, I can tell in many ways. But, in so many ways it's so intangible. I think part of that is because I had gotten so heavy before that I really stopped thinking about my weight to a certain extent. But that's another blog for another day. Living more "in my body" is a goal - not just living in my head.

I'm getting better at having a lap band. Knowing how to eat, drink, when to eat and drink. I'm pretty darn restricted. I did not expect to be so restricted after just two fills but I'm glad it's working. I'm also still not great about chewing well enough and waiting long enough between bites. Soup is my friend. As is the lapband. There is no way I could have done this on my own. I hadn't done this on my own.

It's weird. Really weird to be satisfied with the amount of food that I'm eating. For lunch yesterday I had three small squares of cheese (120 calories) about 45 minutes before lunch then I had maybe an ounce of salmon and 3 or 4 bites of a chopped veggie salad. And, I was good. Was I stuffed like I'd just eaten Thanksgiving dinner, no. But I was good. No hunger pains, rumbling stomachs, headaches. Weird.

Here's to the next half!!!

And Exercise!

Yeah, time to exercise too - regularly. Or even sort of regularly. Going to look at a used treadmill this weekend.

Buckleing Down

Still bouncing. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Even wrapping up my period didn't result in a nice loss. So, time to buckle down. I want to get this train moving again - and fast.

All of this is relative - still 50 pounds down in 3 months so who is complaining. I just don't want to get complacent. And, I want to keep moving towards my goal.

One of the diets I used way back in the day was called the rotation diet. It's premise was to vary the amount of calories you eat to keep your metabolism moving. On the diet you ate 600 calories for 3 days, 900 calories for 4 days and then 1200 calories for a week then repeat the 600/900 week. 21 day cycles. This is pretty much only do-able with the help of diet pills (at least in my experience).

So, we're doing sort of a modified version of that. I'm going to go back to tracking all of my food as I've gotten away from that in the last month or so. I'm aiming for 1000 calories for Friday through Monday then bumping down to around 600 calories for Tuesday through Thursday. Still getting the protein I need and drinking enough.

I think 800-1000 calories a day is a typical target for a bandster? My doctor doesn't give me a specific target. What do other doctor's say?

I know some in the bandster community think that "diet" is a dirty word. I am enjoying loosing at a fairly good pace without doing a lot of the traditional diet. I'm ok though with making some adjustments with the hope of accelerating things.

50!

It felt really good to see a nice round 50 down this morning on the scale. I've been bouncing between about 47 down and 49 down for the last week or so. Time to buckle down and get back to fundamentals.

I've realized that unless I drink a good amount of a hot liquid in the morning, I have a hard time eating for the rest of the day - even drinking to a certain extent. I was a bit worried that I was too tight (the irony) but I think it's more of adjusting to how the band operates throughout the day.

The "big" numbers are such a big deal. Such a big goal and a delight to see on the scale. But, am I significantly "thinner" at 50 down than I was at 49 down? No. I think that's a positive side benefit of this journey. The numbers are important but to a certain extent I'm so much more confident that they are going to happen so I'm not as crazy about getting there.

50 down also gets me into a new decade which is awesome. It's been a while since I've seen a 4 up there.

Before, I would struggle to reach a milestone and once there, promptly fall of the wagon and start the super quick slog back up. Maybe the number starts to loose some of its power when there's more confidence that it's all a part of the long term process?

So, yeah!! It feels good. I'm almost back in the "before the wheels really fell off of this thing" weight range. Wearing spikey heels today in honor of the fifty down. DD approved them this morning. I'm going to take pictures this weekend for some comparison shots.

Now, I would love to be at 60 down by our big work annual conference which starts on Oct. 16. Four weeks - 10 pounds. Stretch goal - 15 pounds which would be 234 by then. Fingers crossed!!

Yep - I have a band!

I've been initiated. I can now say I know what a PB is/feels like. That's a productive burp for the non-bandsters reading this. Lovely concept huh? It's essentially like vomiting but you're just regurgitating food that is in your esophagus and/or the top part of your stomach (above the band). Less sweating though. Pretty.

My husband made breakfast this morning. I had one egg, about 2 tablespoons of hashbrowns and two strips of turkey bacon. I'm pretty sure it was the bacon that did it. I've had turkey bacon since having the band without big issues. However, we ate breakfast at about 11 a.m. this morning. I'm like so many in that I'm much tighter in the morning. Usually, I just have coffee or a latte until lunch. I thought 11 a.m. would be ok. I should have taken it easier. So, PB #1.

Why are you numbering the PBs Susan?

Well, after my family took a bike ride (more on that later), we stopped at a local pub for a late lunch. I thought I'd do soup. I got a white bean chili and a Cesar salad. Thought I was ok. Had just a few bites of each. Nope - my first trip to a public restroom for a PB. PB #2.

Lesson learned - scope out where the restrooms are when dining out.

Only liquids for the rest of the day for me and probably for part of tomorrow too. It didn't hurt. I don't feel badly now. Not even really hungry. I don't want to push things and mess anything up. Need to remember to chew, chew, chew.

So, about that bike ride. My husband got one of the bike "tag-a-longs" for our 4 year old. It's essentially a half of a bike, only one wheel. He can pull it behind his bike. I borrowed my neighbor's bike and we loaded up the car. I don't think we rode all that far but the bigger NSV was that we did an active family activity together. It is a beautiful day here (finally!) after a sweltering summer and it was really nice to be able to enjoy moving around so much more.

Before I had the surgery, I thought about wanting to lose about 2 1/2 times the amount that my daughter weighs. I'm about 2 pounds away from being down 50 pounds so I've lost one of DD plus about 10 pounds. I have a hard time picking her up these days. It's remarkable that I'm already walking around without dragging that much weight around with me.

Before the PBs, I had been thinking about writing a post titled "Bizarro World" because I sort of feel like that's where I'm at. It's totally bizarre that I've lost almost 50 pounds. BIZ-AR-RO! It's bizarre that I can walk for 40 minutes with my neighbor at a pretty good clip and actually feel good at the end. It's bizarre that I'm eating pretty healthy. It's bizarre that I'm in the mental space that I am. Absolutely nuts. But, I'll definitely take it.